Monday, March 10, 2008

Paul W.S. Anderson is the devil. Uwe Boll isn't far behind either.

Paul W.S. Anderson, a 43 year old Hollywood director, has single handedly destroyed the hopes and dreams of video game fan boys around the world. If there is one thing any fan of a particular property asks of movie makers it is that they remain faithful to the source material. To this end, Anderson has succeeded in creating a movie making machine that continually raises the hopes of its potential audience only to end with inevitable failure.

Ask any fan of the widely acclaimed Resident Evil series how they feel about Anderson’s adoptions and you will be given a laundry list of everything wrong with the handling of the franchise in Anderson’s hands. Now, I could sit here and list every single thing wrong with the Resident Evil films in how they do not correlate to the story of the games at all but I don’t need to. Even in the eyes of someone who knows nothing about Resident Evil: They are still bad movies. And here is where we are presented with a problem.

Anderson’s two films that were not based on any previous property (Solider and Event Horizon) are actually rather decent. Event Horizon happens to be one of my favorite films in that it is a perfect blend of traditional horror and REAL science fiction. The film is even considered among some horror circles as one of the best horror films ever made – I am inclined to agree. The only problem is Anderson’s acclaimed endeavors seemed to be sandwiched by an avalanche of utter garbage. Mortal Kombat being before Soldier and Event Horizon and everything he’s done since then after. So do we pat Anderson on the back for making two movies (one of which is considered an excellent film) that are well liked while on the other hand appearing to be a director for hire who is willing to take the helm of any bought video game property? It’s a shame his name isn’t Paul Thomas Anderson or I’d be willing to let his transgressions slide.

Fan boy mentality aside, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Dead or Alive should go down as humanity’s most awful crimes. A special place in Hell should be reserved for anyone involved in the creation of the movie Alien vs. Predator. For anyone who grew up in the 80’s and 90’s – making a film of this prestige and set up should have been an easy win. Six successful movies preceded AVP; it should have been the distilled culmination of the best qualities of the previous films and yet it failed miserably. My only thought is that the success of Freddy vs. Jason led some producers in a dark room to believe that mashing the two properties together to quell the cries of millions of fans would usher in money hand over fist. Thanks to the masses – i.e: Us – they won and we lose. It’s funny since that was basically the tagline for Alien vs. Predator.

“Whoever wins … we lose.”

Yea. Pretty much. Though, Anderson wins to and gets to sleep with Milla Jovovich everynight. God bless America.

The next big Hollywood hit:
(Sound needs to be on for the full effect)

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